Weddings

It’s official. We’re engaged. After eight and a half years, Sergei and I will be making it official in 10.5 weeks. I can’t wait! After weeks of investigating, phoning, emailing, tentatively booking and changing my mind-ing, we finally have the skeleton of the day planned. Ceremony location. CHECK. Celebrant. CHECK. Reception. CHECK. At least we know that the wedding can actually happen now, and that we’ll all have a good feed at the end of it. It’s amazing though to think about all of the hoops we’ve had to jump to get this far, and of all of the compromises and awkward family situations that have arisen as a result. It would have been far easier – and cheaper – to elope, but then I would have missed out on “every girl’s dream” – not that I ever had a particular image in mind of my wedding day, but if I did, it certainly would have involved more than just two witnesses!

There are so many aspects of this wedding that have made eloping all the more tempting. Did you know that apparently, the average spend on a wedding today is $50,000? I’m sorry, but for that much I would expect a lot more than some two course alternate drop menu. The meals should be served on gold platters, to guests sitting on golden thrones while golden swans swim nearby on a golden lake…you get the idea. Since when does one day of your life warrant such expense? And for what? If I see one more price escalated immediately after mentioning the word wedding, I am going to scream. Every single wedding I have attended in recent years has been an appalling waste of money, and I am doing everything I can (and still failing in some respects) to ensure that mine is not a complete rip off. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that we get married at a nice location, dressed nicely, and top it off with a decent tasting & filling meal in a pleasant atmosphere. Should this cost $50,000? Not a chance. I have searched far and wide and finally chosen locations that will suit our needs. They’re still a rip off, but vastly less of a rip off than they could have been.

I should say at this point that I do want this day to be special. This is the day when I am marrying the man of my dreams, after all. However that in itself will make the day special regardless of the finer details…

Back to my whinging though… It annoyed me initially how so many people would assume I was talking about 2010 when making wedding arrangements. I’ve come to realise now why so many people have incorrectly made that assumption. Organising is so much work! Just trying to make everything happen on the same day has been an effort. In the end I just chose a number I liked and stuck with that date – so long as the reception worked on that day, I was happy to make everything else fit around it. Had I been working 9-5 though, this would have been utterly impossible, considering all of the communication I’ve had with countless businesses.

All of that aside, there’s the family dramas. Who to invite? Who not to invite? Who must be invited because someone else was? Who must be invited so as not to offend? Who shouldn’t be invited, despite my wanting to, because they’re not in a “happy place” right now so wouldn’t be in a very celebratory mood? So much for a simple list! You’ve also got the new age vs. tradition – who pays for what nowadays? How do you cope when peoples’ beliefs differ? Then there are the offers of help. I do appreciate them. I REALLY do. Please believe me. It’s just that some things simply aren’t my style, and try as I might, I can’t go with something purely because it is cheap or free – yes, I’m trying to save costs, but I have to draw the line somewhere, and I draw the line at dodgy. I’m not even going to start on one of the trickiest questions of all – how the HELL am I supposed to breastfeed in my dress???

All in all this is a difficult process, but one that, despite all the potential problems, is worth it as, believe it or not, I am actually looking forward to the wedding.