The Facebook Dilemma.

I don’t believe it. I really don’t believe it. For years, I have been telling myself that there really is no need to entertain the possibility of getting a Facebook account. Or MySpace. Or anything or that nature whatsoever. Then came maternity leave, and an email one day from a friend asking me to look at her photos. I clicked on the link, not realising that I would have to create an account to view them. I could have just emailed my friend, asking her to send the shots to me by email, but she was at work, and I was bored, and I didn’t want to bother her, and…and…and…oh well what would it hurt? So I created an account. The beginning of the end really. I’m hooked. First there was the joy of seeing her photos of course, but it was swiftly followed by a desire to name search people. So off I went sending “friend” requests off left right and centre. Current acquaintances first of course. Wow – they’re here! What a novelty. Hmm who next? Old boyfriends, high school sweethearts. School friends I saw during the first year of uni before we all came to busy, or too disinterested, to continue making the effort to actually see each other. Other school friends. High school. Primary school. Preschool. University. Fellow musicians. Teachers! Work colleagues. They’re all here! How bizarre to think that for all of these years, people have been farewelling each other at 5pm, only to continue their conversations online later the same evening. I had no idea… Think of all the goss that I’ve probably missed out on. Then there are all of the school acquaintances who never lost touch like I did. They’re married, they have kids too. Life has been moving on for them just like it has for me. Within days I had over 100 friends clocked up. Quite an achievement I thought. I’m not sure what was more important some days - finding more people who were willing to be “friends” or the people who I was actually finding. It was a bizarre thing.

Some months on, I’m still logging in daily to see what people are up to. People who I had long written off as parts of my increasingly distant past, never to be seen or heard from again. It is a nice feeling actually, suddenly being “part” of something. Feeling like I’m not quite so alone. That other people are interested enough in you to accept you as a “friend”, and to want to follow your life too, no matter how mundane it may be some days. Maybe that’s the appeal. The fact that your connections are called “friends” rather than “acquaintances” is interesting. Quite clever really. It certainly has me hooked. For the first time I think I understand why “computer nerds” can spend so much time in front of this little screen. They might appear to be alone, but they’re still connected. Certainly, Facebook has its flaws. People hack in and do all sorts of silly things with others’ accounts, and there are all manner of different clubs (or “groups” as they’re called) you can join, and games you can play. It’s all a bit of fun really. Ultimately though, silliness aside, I see now that it is really like an online address book, one that is never going to be lost, can always be amended, and can keep you up to date with the goings on of everyone in whom you have even just a remote interest, without your needing to physically act out and make contact. You just plod along, revealing about yourself only what you would like others to know, and they can access it whenever they like. I’m not sure that Facebook has helped me in terms of procrastination – it is definitely a great way to waste a lot of time – but it does have its merits, and I’m glad that I finally succumbed.

Ok, that was unexpected. Believe it or not, I started this article with the sole intention of bagging Facebook and criticising myself for finally having succumbed, but along the way it seems to have morphed into something else… What had been going to say related to the use of the word “friend” rather than “acquaintance” (or something similar) as it really makes one feel that you’re somehow inadequate if your number of “friends” is low. I suspect therefore that many people accept others’ friend requests merely to boost their own numbers, as opposed to actually having a genuine interest in the person. So in actual fact Facebook could be seen as one big pathetic popularity contest… but one in which I’m obviously a keen participant so it’s hard to draw the line and figure out exactly where I stand sometimes…

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.